Greetings Dowel Fans!

I should get this out of the way as soon as possible – J-LO is not guest editing this month's newsletter – we have had a falling out. More on that later. The newsletter is still full of of fantastic Dowel related content and what more could you want than that?

Dowel Photo of the Month

This months photo was taken at the Jodrell Bank Centre for Astrophysics – where all the road speed signs are set to 11 – you cant tell me they don’t believe in the power of the Dowel.

We were there to establish links between the recognised scientific community and our own space programme. Unfortunately, they remain somewhat sceptical about our plans to get a Dowel in space by 2030 – philistines. Dowels will fly in space again! Praise the Dowel!

I need to re-watch 2000's "The Dish" starring Sam Neill to see if it is as good as I remember.

Send us photos of your Dowel and we will publish them in this newsletter - share the joy, praise the Dowel!

Postcards!

Our 2025 postcards are now out in the wild. If you want to see one for yourself you will need to write in with something provocative.

After the break!

Still to come - Still to come – what happened with Jlo?

INTERMISSION:

"I have eaten six bananas in the four hours preceding this – and I feel fine. "

Dowel Encrypted Network Protocal.

Many western governments are taking action to ensure that its citizens don’t have access to private communications – such as encrypted messaging etc. Now by and large all of our communications to date have been made available on the open web – and this will continue as a great deal of our web traffic (the vast majority of it actually) for some reason appears to be from the various security agencies of the five eyes countries, China and Russia and the bigger resources of the FAANG corporations as they bid to do who knows what with all our data. However, as part of an abundance of caution we have asked our own scientific team to look in to setting up a unique and fully independent Dowel based communication system that will allow for the secure ongoing communication for the Order of the Dowel. So far, we have no idea what this will look like – but we are pretty sure it will involve Dowels with painted spots – or maybe painted stripes…

WHATS THAT - DOWEL NEWS ON WHATS APP?

Do you click on QR codes from unkown sources – if you clicked on the above you will have found the whatsapp channel of the Dowel. Key takeaways:

• Its private (as much as anything from meta is…)
• You arent visible to other viewers or followers of the channel – they cant see your number, profile picture etc.
• Meta probably track you, although they say they dont
• You will find a nice juicy link to the newsletter just as soon as it is released…
• You can sign up and then just completely ignore it no one minds.
• We will be including exclusive subsciber only content soon

So, what are you waiting on? Click the link and join up now! https://www.whatsapp.com/channel/0029VawAffN72WTvMBcXMc3X

JLo Update

As mentioned in the previous newsletter we were expecting Jennifer to guest edit our newsletter this month but I found her leaving an anonymous note about the state of the recycling bins in my building. She was extremely worked up about people not folding up their old cardboard boxes – and I was like “– its not a big deal” – and she was like “no, it is selfish, it takes up space - preventing people from using the shared facilities and makes recycling more difficult and if people cant do this one simple thing then how can we expect society to function at all” - and I was like, “fine - I’ll speak to them” and she was like “no – no, did you forget where I am from?? We’ll do what we did in the bronx – we will leave them a note!” An anonymous note in a public space for everyone to see – and I’m like “fine, but then will you edit my newsletter” – and she was like “NO!!! Haven’t you been listening to a word I have been saying? I’m far too angry and upset and I don’t know when I will calm down again” and then she left in a huff - and the last time I saw her she was struggling to ride a lime bike down the street because one of her feet was in a moon boot for some reason that I cant recall – and here is the thing – she crashed in to my neighbours car (the red toyota MERD if you recall…) and did she leave a note?? NO! So thats my J-lo update – she doesn’t even live in my building, maybe she will edit next months newsletter - who knows. If you want more of her militant views on recycling then maybe sign up to her newsletter.




NEXT MONTH

For more Dowel news and celebrity gossip – tune in to us again next month – same Dowel time, same Dowel place… and if you would like to edit this newsletter yourself – then by all means email us at “membership@praisethedowel.com” just promise me you will stay away from my fucking bins.
P.

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