Greetings Dowel fans!

I completely forgot I was meant to send Dowels to Los Angeles to be included in this years Oscars gift bag. Oh well, there is always next year.... Moving on its the 11th of the Month again - and you know what that means! Its time for another fabulous Newsletter of the Dowel!! This month - we announce a new Dowel Art Grant, we welcome a new joiner, we have all the usual breaking Dowel news - and "that's weird" returns - lets crack on! PRAISE THE DOWEL!

THE DOWEL ART GRANT (AKA THE DAG) CONTEST

This month we are pleased to announce a new Dowel based art grant. The aim of the grant is to create artwork that will expand the worlds appreciation and understanding of the Dowel.

If you have any ideas for a potential Dowel related art piece you are encouraged to write in – the definition of art in this sense is quite wide – after all you can add the Dowel to anything and it instantly becomes art.

You might be thinking about visual arts,– e.g drawing, painting, film, photography, sculpture (including mechanical installations), digital arts etc, or perhaps you are more includined to performance art including - interpretive dance, theatre, opera or sky-writing, written works such as novels, poems, plays essays and more. There are no limits!

To enter you should send us your idea alongside a brief description of how you think it could be made. Those who are awarded a Dowel Art Grant – will be given a grant and work alongside the Dowel to see their artwork produced.

NEW JOINER ANNOUNCEMENT

We are please to announce that we have taken on a new employee – on a part time basis. Please welcome “Maria” to our team. I would guess Maria is about 26 years old, she is based in the Philippines, she enjoys reading books by Jane Austen and her strengths include “maths”, her role will include three main functions, (1) she will be producing some art for our upcoming Dowel app relaunch, (2) she will also be monitoring our emails – so be careful what you send, she is a young woman and she might be deeply religious, and (3) she will be taking part in online marketing (by which we mean posting “Praise the Dowel” randomly on Instagram and Reddit a pre-determined number of times. We will also be sending her membership packs and Dowels, this means we can better respond to growing interest in the Dowel from eastern Asia and we can reply to emails at any time of day now. Truelly exciting times for the Dowel. Also – in related news Ive decided we will refer to all Dowel employees as “joiners’ for the time being.

After the break!

Still to come - more Dowel news!

Intermission:

Say it with me...

“I am as strong and resilient as the mighty Dowel. Just like this sturdy wooden rod, I can withstand life’s challenges and emerge even stronger. My inner strength is unbreakable, with faith in the Dowel I am capable of achieving whatever I set my mind to.” Praise the Dowel!

Dowel Membership

We are finally up to date with all our recent membership applications now. If you are in the U.K. you should all have received your packs already – if you are located overseas, allow another couple of weeks for delivery (we are still waiting on our own space delivery system).

I can also tell you that the most recent Dowel Handbook smells like the instruction manuals that you used to get with video game cartidges… i.e. it smells of cheap laminated paper that you probably dont want to let children lick.

If you are subscribed to this newsletter and havent received a members pack – and you would like to – reply to this email, Maria will sort you out.

If you think you got this email / members pack in error - well, I am sorry - this is your life now.

Thats Weird.

A member wrote in to let us know they have developed the power to remove hubcaps from wheels remotely using only the power of their mind. From what I understand it does require a direct line of sight – so its like cyclops from the x-men but instead of shooting a deadly laser – his vision causes hubcaps to lose their mount. Praise the Dowel!!

If you have seen or overheard anything weird recently – or developed your own superpowers which we can atribute to your belief in the Dowel - please write in and tell us. PLEASE.

Why do we do this?

Because Dowel. Thats why. Praise the Dowel!

NEXT MONTH

Well, wasnt that an amazing newsletter? Next month we will be doing it all again with more Dowel news - and we ask - “Is the government putting drugs in the water to make things less weird and if not - should they?”

So, until then Do well and praise the Dowel - P.

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