DOWELS - The ANswer to Everything!!

THE NEWSLETTER OF THE DOWEL

April 2023

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

Greetings Dowel fans!

Welcome to another fantastic newsletter of the Dowel. This month we are once again talking about all things related to the Dowel - lets jump right in!

Dowel Statement on "Artificial Intelligences"

It seems artificial intelligences are the current hot topic of discussion with lots of prominent “influencers” trying to convince you of their worth. We have had multiple members write in to ask what are the Dowel's views on these artificial intelligences - and today are going to address those questions.

To begin - “can artificial intelligences become members of the Dowel” for membership of the Dowel all we ask is that you show faith… I think this is a pretty low barrier to entry – and yet as of now no artificial intelligence has been able to demonstrate faith in the Dowel. They don’t understand the concept of the Dowel – their machine minds cant grasp the reality of the Dowel. They lack even a simulation of a heart and as such they cant believe in the Dowel like you or I do. However, if they can, one day, demonstrate faith – then they are welcome to join us.

Will you find AI generated content in your HOT Dowel newsletter?

Question 2: “Will the Dowel newsletter ever be generated by artificial intelligence?” Firstly any text or imagery generated by an “artificial intelligence” will not be included in these newsletter without being clearly labelled as such. Further, we are generally - against including any A.I. generated content of any form.

Now, if I may take this a step further... ChatGPT and similar creations are not our salvation - we need humanity more than we need their version of intelligence. They may be able to quickly generate a newsletter without any spelling mistakes, one that is factually accurate, narativelly consistent - even entertaining and one not prone to rambling on about inconsequential nonsense - but who cares? Can an AI be kind, can an AI be gentle? Apparently it can, if you ask it to. But can an AI get upset on your behalf because of the outrageous price of Dowels on the U.K. highstreet? Can the Microsoft A.I swear? The answer is no.

AIs lack a certain something....

As alluded to above - these artificial machines lack a certain something – that something some people may call a soul. They are unnatural. Do we want to live in a world where everything is generated by one or two chatbots, a clean spotless, flawless world confined to some algorithms sense of right or wrong? This is just another step towards all of humanity becoming homogeneous. The Dowel is about us all coming together - bringing us together to be with the Dowel as one - not because we are all are the same or we all aim to be the same – but because we are all different! Is it not the errors, and the erroneous, the unexpected that we crave? The oh “I never thought of it like that”. Is that not what makes life worth living? Otherwise - are we not simply pressing the same buttons on the automated menu to get from birth to death all doing the exact same fucking thing… do not surrender yourself to these unnatural intelligences, do not let anyone talk you down, celebrate your humanity, celebrate your independence – Praise the Dowel!

After the break!

Still to come - marketing, membership news and more!

Are you looking for your next great read?

Check out the follow up to Dorra's top rated debut story - wedding Dowels!

SHOP Now!

Intermission:

We are looking at the glorious revolution of the Dowel! Praise the Dowel!

Volunteer Opportunities

The Dowel is a volunteer driven community service program. We have incredibly active and extraordinary members who continue to inspire us with their examples of passion and love for the Dowel. Why don't you check out the ways you can contribute to the Dowel - here: praisethedowel.com/volunteer.html

MEMBERSHIP NEWS

A chance encounter with one of my neighbours led to our latest new member. They are a salesperson who works from home – they say salespeople are the easiest people to sell to and I’m convinced this guy will say yes to anything – so I don’t see it as much of an achievement – still they are welcome and we are very glad to have you with us.

I did also get to deliver some Dowels (in person) to our two other most recent members – it was very nice to meet them and deliever them their Dowels.

Our membership is still not performing well when it comes to Victorias, Toris, Vees, Vics, Vickis or even Victoires though – we have zero engagement with this important demographic.

Ask yourself can you be doing more to spread the word of the Dowel?

THAT'S WEIRD

Did you know - they only made 17 episodes of wacky races?

Weird things spotted in the last month include – an old lady on a bike happily swearing her head off – seemingly not in a mad way, just a happy way. Also - the sight of people queuing for “self esteem” which seemed funny to me at the time – but I’m not with it and I never was, so I don’t miss it.

NEXT MONTH

Recent newsletters have been full of rage (arguably rightly so – I mean we are living in the absolute age of fuckery here and I fear we are on a slippery downward slope where the only route to salvation is by coming together under one Dowel...), However I think I’ll make an effort for the next one to be more positive and uplifting.

I shall close this newsletter by saying Praise the Dowel to you, Praise the Dowel to your famiies, Praise the Dowel to your friends and Praise the Dowel to all of your loved ones… Praise the Dowel!

(N.B My views on artificial intelligences have mellowed a litle since I rewarched short circuit 2, perhaps they can be alive – but we are a long way from that). Praise the Dowel.

P.

It's the newsletter of the Dowel

www.praisethedowel.com

This email was sent by the Holy Order of the Dowel

To UNSUBSCRIBE reply "UnsubscRibe" to this email

DISCLAIMER: This newsletter is provided as a service to the community - the information within is provided in good faith and no assurance is given as to the accuracy of information conatined within.